Winter Love 2013

Winter Love

So when everyone was wishing for an iPhone and iPad on Christmas, I was hoping to fall in love. Not just fall into it but also be with him for the rest of my life. It had been six years now since I had dated anyone and suddenly it seemed like I had started attracting the opposite sex once again. I say that because, I had a friend who wanted to fix me up with one of her friends and there were two men in the office who were constantly flirting with me on Whatsapp. The flirting led to dating one of them and I fell for him. Let’s call him Mr Perfectly Wrong as of now. So Mr Perfectly Wrong wasn’t the kind of man I thought I would be with. Not even close. He was someone I was extremely comfortable with and I loved him for the fact that he accepted me for who I was.

After spending an entire day with him, we hugged to say goodbye to each other. I looked into his eyes and told him that I had an amazing day. He smiled back and said, “I too had a great day. I just want you to not to expect anything from me because when you start expecting, that is when things go wrong.” I wasn’t sure what this ‘expectation’ was that he was talking about. All I understood was that this man, standing in front of me, had commitment issues. My emotions reached my eyes and there I was crying and asking God, ‘Why?’

Unfortunately God doesn’t answer and neither did Mr Perfectly Wrong. I had to stop here. I couldn’t have been a part of something that was meaningless, I thought to myself. We had several discussions and fights over why he couldn’t call it a ‘relationship’ and all he had to say was, “Why give it a stamp? Why can’t we just be this way till the time you get married?” Appalled by his statement I knew I had to stop this right now. I tried, I really did but working in the same office and especially when the person sits right opposite to your desk, it was impossible… We stopped talking for a while but that made me feel worse. So we came to a conclusion that we will be friends (yeah, we gave it that name?!). He continued flirting with me and expecting things from me; in turn, my feelings for him grew deeper despite knowing that we were not going to be together for long.

One night he called me to go out. I was reluctant at first but then I thought, why not? I go out with my friends all the time. He picked me up and we went on a drive. So far, things seemed to be going good. While he was out in the market, I was sitting in the car. He by chance had left his phone back in the car. The phone rang and it was a girl calling him! I knew who she was because I had heard about her from one of my colleagues. Mr Perfectly Wrong on the other hand always referred to her as a ‘friend’. As the phone rang for the third time, I answered her call and told her that I will send across her message as he was out. He came back, called her up and started giving her explanations on why he was with me. I asked him what the explanation was about and he didn’t have an answer. That is when I knew I had to walk away. I had to quit my job as seeing him made me think about all the things he lied to me about.

This is not something that all of us haven’t heard of. It happened with me for the first time and trust me, infidelity is the worst thing to happen to anyone. It just doesn’t hurt you…it destroys you. I never spoke to him after that fateful night but learnt several things from this incident. (Note to self) Firstly, as a rule, never ever date anyone at your work place. It not only spoils your reputation but also makes things awkward and puts your career at stake. Secondly, if a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen. You don’t have to run behind him or ask him to commit. He will do it out of love. If he doesn’t, then you know that you have to walk away without looking back. Just the way I did.

Love,
Melissa

Do you have a similar story to share or a love query needing a solution? Write to me on contactmelissamartin@gmail.com

Psst… your identity would be withheld.

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