Right after a break-up, it’s very easy to preach others to move on, or say things like whatever happens happens for the best, he didn’t deserve you, you deserve some one better so on and so forth… Sure these are pleasing positive statements and way too easy to say but definitely not when it happens to you! When ‘he’ is constantly on your mind and the only name you want to see flashing on your phone is ‘his’ (yeah we are forever hopeless in love with the wrong ones! *sigh*). At the same time, it’s important to understand that there was a reason why it didn’t work out. We need to realize that there’s a reason behind him ignoring you, cheating on you or not being able to commit to you; which is completely his problem and not yours!
Remember my last post? (Winter love 2013 – http://contact365dob.wordpress.com/the-bitch-speaks/ask-melissa/) where I mentioned: ‘if he wants to be with you, he will make it happen’ otherwise it’s just another lesson from the book of love well learnt. After all that I have survived being in and out of the much-sought-after-love, and I believe, it’s always better to be with someone who wants you and not with someone whom you chase lest we forget who the man in the relationship is!
So here I am, giving away what I have learnt from my experiences so that you lovely ladies out there don’t go through the same post-break up- mess. Like any of you I too cried my eyes out, told my story to the world and constantly thought about why he cheated on me. But one day I just decided that I don’t have to feel awfully empty; that my life has a lot better things in store for me (Read: It’s you who has tell this to yourself. Others or even I telling you the same thing won’t help). And the first step to move on was to make a list of things that made me happy. And this was how my list looked like:
- Travel – I love travelling and for me it’s the best way to get myself back or maybe discover the ‘new’ me. On my first trip, I travelled to the mountains with a friend and did water sports like rafting, kayaking. In the next few trips, I was with a group of four and eight people where I did some of the craziest stuff– from absolutely doing nothing to meditating, trekking and swimming in freezing cold water! It didn’t only feel good but it also made me bond with my friends better and be myself again.
- Talk about it – Tell your friends what happened and how you are feeling. Get everything out of your system. You don’t have to hide your feelings. You have been hurt and there is no need to bury the pain in your heart. They are your friends and they will support you, always.
- Do not watch romantic movies (at least for a while)– I know that you want to watch P.S.I love You and hope that there was a Gerry for you too. But I think these romantic films are just going to make you remember the good times you had with your ex, which would even make you cry. Don’t do this to yourself! Watch films that will motivate you like– I Me Wed, Lying to be Perfect and many more. Similarly, listen to music to feel good and not to remember the old times.
- Work out – Some of us tend to hibernate and do not want to do anything but sleep all day long. Get out of that zone and shop. Get yourself new clothes or even better join a gym, yoga or a dance class. After all what’s better than getting your anger out and attaining a sexy bod in return *wink*!
But trust me, as I said before it’s better said than done. These things will keep your mind off him but no matter how hard you try and do every possible thing mentioned above, there will be a time when you will be angry…angry and shattered about what you went through. And to completely get rid of that miserable feeling it is very important to forgive ‘him’—that’s what I have done. May be you can never forget how pathetic ‘he’ made you feel about yourself but, if you hold any kind of feelings for him, you won’t be able to let go off your past, ever. The key to feel good again, is with you! As they say, smile and the world smiles with you!
Trying to get over your ex? E-mail me on email@example.com to help you out.
Psst… As always, your identity will be anonymous!