In the real world, two months of dating means nothing. But for me, it wasn’t just two months because I had met my soulmate. Yes, I did! We got along like house on fire. From speaking on phone for hours to going on the first date and then ten later, everything was perfect and seemed like life is good with things falling into place. We would message each other during working hours and then at night randomly he would call to tell me that he was outside my house! It was magical. I could sit with him for hours and talk about any and everything or not talk at all and still be happy being around him.
This was short lived because he wanted something else from life and suggested that I should see other people. He decided to delete me from social media but told me that one day he would call. I don’t know what that meant because it’s been ten months now and he hasn’t called. I don’t know why he thought of giving me the false hope of getting back. I waited on my birthday for his call but I did not hear from him. There hasn’t been a day in these ten months that I haven’t thought of him. From the smallest of things to our meeting places, I have lived those moments over and over again. I have wished a thousand times to see him once. I’ve cried every night praying for the best for him. I’ve played our dates moment by moment more than a million times hoping that it would all come back again for once. I have never felt so helpless in life and that is because I miss him every single day and there is nothing I can do about it.
They say time heals all wounds but I can’t get myself to be the same person I was before I met him. I have so many questions about why would someone – who is such a nice and kind soul do this to you? I wanted to ask him why did he make me vulnerable and then decide to leave? He knew everything about me and the worst was that he knew how much hurt he was going to put me through and he still did. There are days when I am angry for what he did. Somedays I tell myself that it wasn’t meant to be and most days I miss him and there is nothing I can do about it.
I still save his favourite chocolates because I know that opening them and eating would tear me apart. I’ve stopped going to my favourite mall because behind it was his work place where we met a couple of times. He asked me to be each other’s strength and now I realise that he actually asked me to be strong and know that he had made up his mind to leave. Because people who love you will fight the world to be with you. So, it’s been ten months now and I haven’t been able to date anyone else yet. And today is just another night when I am writing this because I miss him terribly and there’s nothing I can do about it.