How to deal with rejection

How To Deal With Rejection

It has been two days since I met a guy for marriage.  It wasn’t the usual arrange marriage set up where the parents sat on one table and the prospective bride and groom on other. It was just us two at the coffee shop of a five star hotel. I came across his profile through a matrimonial bureau and instantly wanted to meet him.  He was well educated, tall and everything I desired in a man I saw my future with. On the day of the meeting I was extremely nervous and reached the venue ten minutes prior (you know how pushy Indian parents get for you to reach on time when they aren’t accompanying you). After fidgeting with my phone for a while and looking outside the window, I saw him walking towards me dressed in blue distressed denims and a blue plaid shirt. He was extremely good looking.

We introduced ourselves to each other and then he began to tell me about his education, family, friends, likes and dislikes amongst many other things. He would occasionally pause in between to ask me about my education qualification and other details. It was a great meeting. I loved how smart he was and how similar our interests were.  Just when we were about to call for the cheque, I told him that I didn’t want him to pay for me and very politely he said that I don’t want to offend you but you can pay the next time. Which I thought was cute as there will be a next time. We shook hands and parted ways.

Folks at home were excited to know how the meeting went and I had all good things to say about the guy. The next day we waited for our coordinator to tell us what the guy thought about me and if he wanted to meet again. But there was no response from the coordinator or the guy. He did not message me. I didn’t know what to think but just that he rejected me. He rejected me even before getting to know me. I don’t consider myself to be extremely beautiful but yes I’m not bad and I deserve to get an answer. I would have appreciated if he had told me that he wasn’t interested for whatever reasons he had but keeping me hanging like this speaks a lot about the kind of person he is.

I feel terrible for being out there only to let someone reject me. I didn’t know how to deal with this except to tell myself that it’s not meant to be. It wasn’t that I fell in love with him the first time I saw him but just the fact that despite everything went well, he chose to not respond.  I thought a lot about it and then decided that I am not going to think about him anymore. It was only 48 hours of my life that I spent with him and I will not let him make me feel small. It is okay to not be the woman that he was looking for.  And it is absolutely alright for him to not to think of me as someone who he could spend the rest of his life with for whatever reasons. I couldn’t decide if I was angry or upset with the way things went but that is when I thought of sending my rant to Melissa. I send it to her so that women around the world who meet assholes like this should not get disheartened and feel bad about being rejected. As far as I am concerned, I know that he is not the one for me and repeating that several times in my head I resumed my life the way it was before meeting him.

Do you have a similar story to share or a love query needing a solution? Write to me on contactmelissamartin@gmail.com

Psst… your identity would be withheld. 

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