It seems pretty shallow to talk about how you can find out that your partner is being unfaithful. But sometimes love can be blinding and forgiving towards deeds that shouldn’t remain unpunished. Our own dearth of self esteem pushes us to reprieve our partner of any consequences of their actions. So we help you identify signs and red flags that indicate that your partner is cheating on you but that’s not all. It can also jerk you and make you see the truth that you’re too afraid to see for yourself. It can be a wake-up call too. So, if you’ve been dabbling with the thoughts of confronting your partner and are waiting around just to be sure, maybe this will call out to you. Infidelity is tricky to detect but some signs are just obvious. Sometimes the signs can be a little more conspicuous.
1. Overcompensation Has Become Evident
When they start giving gifts or behave extra nicely at odd intervals, it might be because they are making up for being unfaithful. By doing that they feel that treating you well is a compensation for doing something wrong. Since they can’t apologise to you without admitting their crime, they will give you consolation prizes.
2. They Have Become Ambiguous With Judgement About Cheating
When you tell them about your colleague’s partner cheating on their partner, your partner starts giving neutralised opinions trying to put forward the “larger picture”. They start asking you to understand the cheating partner’s side of the story. Suddenly they think cheating is a morally grey area and one should not be quick to judge an adulterer.
3. They Frequently Return Nervously And Avoid Eye Contact
When they come home, they find excuses to be left alone for a little while and doesn’t look at you while talking to you over dinner. The stress of hiding their other relationship is taking a toll on them and there are times when they look extremely depressed and anxious. They don’t sleep properly or show any interest in eating.
4. Avoids T.V Shows/Movies/Books With Plot Centred Around Adultery
They now can’t stand to watch with you movies that reflect on them as the bad guy or discuss books with a similar theme. It causes them great discomfort and they’re visibly flinching. It reminds them of the wrongness of their deed, something they’ve been trying to tune out from their head. Their own conscience is finding faults within their character and they don’t like that idea.
5. They Now Start Fights For No Reason
They are the one who generally resolved the fights previously but now are now looking for opportunities to pick one out of the blue. Their aggression is directionless because they want to be able to blame you for what they’ve been doing wrong. They’re trying to prove it in their heads that your relationship is making them cheat on you. They don’t want to feel like the culprit.
6. They Are Too Secretive
They get startled by an untimely call at night and hurries away, doesn’t let you near their phone, doesn’t tell you about who they were talking to on the phone, etc. There are days when they go out and you don’t receive any contact the entire time. Sometimes you catch them crying or smiling without any reason and they act as if nothing really happened.
7. They Don’t Listen To You Patiently Anymore
If you calmly and sincerely approach your partner about the thought that something seems off or makes you uncomfortable, and they lash out and make you feel insecure or insane, it’s because they are deflecting. A caring relationship involves talking things out and caring about one another’s feelings and validating them, while trying to resolve an issue in a constructive and healthy way.